LGN 122: The Why and The Who

Inside: What’s my why?; What am I looking for in a woman?? That’s a random, if not timely, question.


That’s a good question. Why do I train? Why do I do this? Why do I do anything? Justin asked the group what our “why” is. Not just “what are your goals” but what are your goals for? What purpose do they serve?

  1. I want to be healthy and fit enough to work and play for decades. I want to die young as old as possible. I want to have the energy and endurance to explore. Explore with people and share new things – new places, new faces. I want to live.
  2. I want to set an example for my loved ones. I want to walk the walk. I want to show results so that they’re inspired to get their own results.
  3. I need to be strong as hell for my loved ones. As time passes fewer of us are able-bodied.
  4. I want to transform and live up to my own expectations and standards so that I can be sharp and in focus and not out of phase and blurry, translucent or even invisible.
  5. I want to have the confidence and energy to have a balanced, healthy social life complete with plenty of constructive me-time between the adventures. I want anyone I interact with to be better for it.
  6. I want to have the confidence and energy to attract positive people.
  7. I want to have the energy and fire to pursue all of my creative outlets.


While I’m at it, Goodkind asked what I’m looking for in a woman. Even though I have a spiel in my head I didn’t explain it well. He recommended that I write it down. Give voice to it. So let’s do it. Against my better judgement I’m going to share it. Then after I post it I’ll get cold feet and remove it. Then I’ll be ashamed of myself for fearing judgement when life’s too short to go around stifling yourself because of what other people think.

A lot of this – not all, obviously, ’cause that would be weird – is also describing the kind of people I want in my circle, my tribe, in general.

OMYR: Symbols Over Substance

Colin Kaepernick’s refusing to stand for the national anthem. Is that upsetting? Is it offensive to you?


It amazes me that his quiet protest, which only came to light recently so that he had to explain himself, is imploding heads.

It’s such a shallow form of patriotism that can’t accommodate dissent. It’s a patina of patriotism. It’s the oxidation on the Statue of Liberty.

Here’s the crazy part. It seems like the people who are most offended have nothing to say about all of these proud, haughty displays of the Confederate battle flag.

I mean, talk about symbolism. Literally flying the flag of a breakaway nation — secessionists — fighting against the United States in order to preserve an economy based on enslavement. The losing side of a civil war. And having the nerve to bash someone else’s patriotism?

#AllLivesMatter and Black on Black Crime as a Semantic Weapon


Anyone who forcefully says #AllLivesMatter says it only as a sardonic, hostile response to #BlackLivesMatter.

Invariably, in the same conversation they try to convince me (or themselves) how someone deserved to die without due process of law, which suggests that they don’t really believe that all lives matter.

Anti-BLM Meme on FB.png

“#AllLivesMatter. I hope if you ever need the police that they don’t show up and you die or get raped or something.”

Come on, now. This isn’t about hating or not wanting the police. (I’ll keep it real, though. I have seen a few black people saying crazy things but those things are crazy. And sometimes ignorant. And sometimes conspiracy theories from wherever conspiracy theories come from.)

I assume that during the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure #AllLivesMatter activists show up to shout, “WHAT ABOUT DIABETES? WHAT ABOUT LIVER DISEASE? #CureAllDiseases! Not heart disease, not hyperthyroidism, ALL diseases!”

Of course, everyone’s lives matters. I’ll even say #WhiteLivesMatter, #BrownLivesMatter, #WomensLivesMatter, #QueerLivesMatter, #BlueLivesMatter” and #PoliceLivesMatter even though an occupation isn’t the same as an immutable physical sociocultural designation but okay. I’ll say it all day long because I believe it. It’s not mutually exclusive to my belief system. It’s a part of my belief system.

The difference is, I’m bleeping outraged and heartbroken when cops are killed, too. Not only when people who look like me or share my socioeconomic status, whatever that means, die unjustly and unnecessarily.

Black on Black Crime

Introducing BlackoutDoors

Carderock Banner

I’ve started a YouTube channel named Blackout Doors. Or BlackoutDoors. Or Black Outdoors. I’m still finding my groove and figuring out the technological logistics – POV video and quality sound are my biggest challenges right now – but I’m getting there.

My goal is to bridge the gap for people who are interested in camping and hiking but don’t have the know-how, gear, or inspiration.


Old Man Young Rants

Inside: Old man yells at cloud

I don’t believe in microaggressions.

oldWe live in a time and culture where everyone can have a voice, which is wonderful. Great. We have access to instant information, facts, and each other’s thoughts about them. All of the information. All of it. We live in a time and culture where we select the information and facts we want to hear and believe. We abuse this gift of knowledge and connection by using it to self-affirm and self-radicalize.

I’ve mentioned before that I’ve unfollowed people on Facebook for various reasons, some of them ideological. I generally don’t follow anyone on social media that is aggressive with their beliefs. But if we all did that, what are we left with? Cliques and tribes of faux-blissful ignorance. (That’s why I do re-follow every now and then and occasionally attempt to have a level-headed conversation, which is a fruitless endeavor, lemme tell you.)

FICTION Pillar of Fire 9 – Egress

It was like standing next to Niagara Falls or at least an underground cylindrical Niagara Falls. A dark, brackish, mud pushed through the upper opening with a wet splop and slapped against the ground and the lower opening. Silty water followed directly behind roaring and blasting from the ceiling above.

The two monstrosities slowed their charge to a hesitant, probing advance. My sight dimmed a little as Shadow reacted and then calmed. Thank God for small favors.

“Now what?” I yelled as loud as I could.

“What?” Gabriel yelled back.

This went on for too long. Comically so. So many questions. How deep did that hole go? Given an unlimited source of water, how long does it take to fill an elaborate, man-made network of tunnels? How far would the water reach? Would it inundate everything below sea level, more or less? How many people were still in the tunnels? Talk about collateral damage. The metro would take forever to recover. Most of all, how was I going to not drown and/or get eaten by hell hounds? That was actually the burning question in my mind at the time.

“Hey look, a fish!”

Gabriel pointed at me and pointed at the hole in the tunnel floor. Aw, hells no. He repeated the gesture emphatically. I crossed my arms in defiance. He shook his head in disappointment, glanced at Lily, and she picked up our unconscious prisoner and threw him into the waterfall and down the hole without a second thought. She looked at Gabriel with a “What?” Shoulder shrug.

Gabriel held his flaming staff up into the gushing, ersatz waterfall and it vaporized before hitting the floor. The resultant steam was definitely about to be a problem. Lily, showing her usual initiative pushed me into the hole. I may or may not have screamed. The details are unimportant. I fell through wet, panicky darkness, figuring I’d get stuck at some point and drown unceremoniously with lungs full of murky stank water.


LGN 121 SevenEighths30

Inside: I’ll eat it; Blackout Doors at Burke Lake

I suspect that anyone who has attempted Whole30 and didn’t bother to read the rules has done this. There are two “this”s on this photo and one straight up violation. Can you identify them?

  1. Turns out the ham has sugar in it.  Pay attention to ingredients and the brand, I guess.
  2. The sauce is coconut cream and dates.
  3. Sweet potato pancakes made from two eggs and two small sweet potatoes. Blend. Pour into pan. Cook like a pancake.

Fantastic. Add a little salt or maybe another seasoning, cook a little slower and it will be perfection. Perfection!