Friday night, driving up to Massachussetts with my big sister.  We
were talking about relationships and such much of the way.  She
noted — a few people recently have noted — that I’m lucky to have the ability to do a lot of
things reasonably well:  write, draw, make music, poetry, computer
stuff.  As if that counts as currency.  I suppose it may.  People assume that I must have my s— together. 
Ha.  If they only knew.

And it dawned on me.  I am thankful and blessed to be able to do
all of the things that I can do.  It’s a relief at times — like a
valve for letting off steam — to be able to express myself in many
ways.  And it’s amazing to be able to communicate with people on
multiple levels at times. 

But abilities are like good looks or money.  They’re
superficial.  They impress people, I suppose.  They may even
garner a level of respect.  But like money or good looks they
don’t solve any problems.  They don’t remedy character flaws.

Just like money, I figure, you spend the rest of your life trying to
figure out what to do with it.  Trying to figure out how to give meaning
to and get meaning out of life.  You know what I mean?  Does
that make sense?

Just something I’ve been thinking about.  It’s strange, though.  I’ve
tried out some of that super memory stuff, which is fun, and I got a
good book called “Unleashing Your Genius” or something like that.  I
forgot what the title is but it’s a good book about … kind of about
making your mind one organism instead using it like a multi-sected tool
— creativity here, book smarts there, painting here, math there, music
here.  The brain is like a metaphysical muscle.  It becomes good at —
and literally reconfigures itself — to what you do with it.  Isn’t
that amazing?  That blows me away.

But what’s strange to me is that I feel like I’m getting smarter and
better as I get older.  My brain works smoother (most of the
time), I
feel more creative, solve problems more effectively.  I even draw
play music better.  And I’m more fit, though not as lean, as I’ve
been.  Maybe it’s because I eat in a more balanced, mindful way
than I
did throughout most of my twenties. That really makes your brain and
body function better.  And for a variety of reasons I see people
differently.  There’s much more empathy and relating mixed in with
the cynicism and disillusionment.  Oh, dichotomous life.

I do NOT manage my money any better, though. 
What’s up with that??

Hmmm.  Something to deal with.  Well, I’m tired of being at work so I’m going to scoot up outta here.


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