I hate people. I don’t hate you, dear reader, but I hate people. Certain aspects of human nature disgust me. Particularly when in groups people act down to the lowest common denominator. I remember taking Leika to a dog park years ago when I used to do that and all these dogs were picking on this one little white dog. So what does Leika do? She goes over and starts picking on the dog, too, nipping at it. I went over, grabbed Leika’s collar, pulled her head to the ground and scolded her, while the other dog owners looked at me with disgust. If the other canines would have started tearing the white dog to pieces, she would have joined in, whereas I want her to go and defend the little one. Doesn’t work that way.
And people are generally the same way. Some of the worst times in my life — probably a lot of our lives — have been at the hands of mob mentality. You see it in kids all the time, the way they pick on each other and can be shockingly cruel. For some reason, our species has evolved such that the vast majority will follow blindly and only a few will question.
I’m kind of sick of work and I’ve been trying to figure out why the environment has been bothering me so much lately. I sometimes forget that I’m an ol’ head compared to most of my coworkers. A few are fresh out of college — 11 or 12 years younger than me. Holy crap. The thing is, if someone new joins or hangs out with a certain crowd, they start out being professional and then quickly conform to the vileness that the environment allows. It’s an Adult Swim world, apparently.
The conversation is lewd, always based on or quickly descending to sexual innuendo that you can see coming a mile away. Make fun of anyone who’s different: gay, black, foreign, whatever. I figure that anyone who’ll toss around the word “fag” about a gay person will just as easily toss around the word “nigger” when I’m not around to be the Ambassador of all African Americans. Comment on every body part of every woman that passes by and maybe elaborate on exactly what one would like to do with one’s penis. And everyone joins in, everyone acts down. I can do that, sure, I’ve got some gutter humor skills but I never enjoyed the high school locker room mentality. And it’s not funny when they’re making fun of my friends. And it’s not fun when I have to defend a friend and then incur the wrath of the pack in the process. But that’s one thing that I will do ferociously. I’ll take hits if I have to but I can’t stomach sitting by idly while a friend is being dragged through the mud. I’ve tried to ignore it but something in me won’t let me. I hold it in and then I’ll just explode later.
If this were “Lord of the Flies” I’d be Piggy or that one dude who they all try to hunt down and kill because he insists on order and civility.
“I’ve got the conch shell! You have to listen!”
“Yeh? Well, we’ve got the spears. And this big rock. Kill the beast. Drink its blood.”
Round and round we go. I”m not saying that I’m better than anyone. I’m just saying that it sucks. I like to have fun, too. I like to laugh. I think I’ve got a pretty well-rounded sense of humor, but fun doesn’t have to be at the expense of other people. Sometimes I just want to shout, “Grow the f— up!”
And I guess we all will, as time passes. But we’re all somewhere. Oh well. I’m just out of my element. That’s not going to change anytime soon. What to do, what to do. Well, I guess I’m there to work, really. That’s what I get paid to do so that’s what I’ll do. Hold my own and the rest is just background noise.
This is not what I meant to write about. I was going to write about the $400 million retirement package for that Exxon exec. That guy was making over $140,000 a day, 7 days a week, for the past however-many-years. Now he’s got a $400 million package: private jet for business purposes, two years of home security, a driver and personal security for two years, $1 million consulting position, etc. People are getting financially butt humped by the increase in gas prices, the petroleum companies were complaining about global supply issues (and getting government subsidies) all the while making record profits. More profit than any company has ever earned in a year in the the history of mankind, and that guy (or one of the petrol big whigs who testified before Congress) had the nerve to say, “We’re all in this together.”
That’s what I meant to write about.
Hey, Tivo is taping something. 24! Oh yeh, it is Monday.
Have a good night, America. If you’ve got any advice about my work situation I’d like to hear it.