Congratulations, homosexuals! – Gary Young MySpace Blog

Congratulations, homosexuals!

Gay people!

You can get married in California now!  Wow.  For now.  Unless that state constitution amendment passes.  That would be a crazy roller coaster ride.  Working in the city makes you realize that there are more gay people than you realized.  Crazy.  And I mean, more people who are openly gay than you realize.

As with most things, my views on this whole issue are out of the mainstream.  Not that it matters.  This is one of those things that people make up their minds about and stick to it.  Facts don’t matter, arguments don’t matter, logic doesn’t matter, complexity or subtlety is ignored.

Standing in the middle of the road (as I often do) only gets you run over by traffic going in both directions.

I stumbled across this months ago and managed to find it via google just now.  I don’t know where it’s from originally (Craigslist?) but I enjoyed it.  Clever.  And I promise to not be annoying and pick apart each item, overanalyzing along the way.  Won’t do it.  I’ll have to distract myself while you read … with this!

dog

see more dog pictures

10 reasons why gay marriage should be illegal

  1. Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

  2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

  3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

  4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

  5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

  6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.

  7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

  8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.

  9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

  10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.
Currently reading :
The Dead Yard: A Novel
By Adrian McKinty
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