Marriage. Gay. Perspectives. – Gary Young MySpace Blog

Marriage. Gay. Perspectives.

Let’s see if that blog title gets your attention. 

I saw “The Bank Job” a while ago.  It was pretty good.  At the end I said, “Wow.  If it weren’t for these sexual taboos or prudishness, none of this would have happened.”

There are taboos that should stay taboos.  Like that whole “how to have sex with dolphins” thing.  Damn you for making me aware of the existence of such a thing.  You know who you are.  T. Subtle, indeed.

But all the drama in the movie (based on a true story) was because of a fling, threesome maybe, plus politicians’ S&M fetishes.

Of course now there’s all kinds of talk about marriage and homosexuality and what not due to the recent legal ruling in California.  A few months ago, the whole public park/restroom gay sex … kerfuffle was all over the news.  I blundered into an article that showed the pictures, the mugshots, of a few men who had been arrested trying to solicit gay sex in a public restroom at a mall.  I want to share these pictures with you.  And then I have a point.

Um … on second thought that’s making me feel a little creeped out.  I’ll just link to the news article:


There you go.  Take a look at those men.  What do you think?  I mean, besides “Yeesh!”

These guys were arrested, have their pictures on the internet now for anyone around the world to see, are shamed and have a criminal record.  They look very average on the scary side.  But like regular middle aged-ish old white dudes, right.  Are they trying to find sex in a public bathroom because they’re ashamed and can’t be openly gay?

I’ve been listening to the LSAT Princeton Review blog so now I’m second guessing every thing I say.  I suppose some of them are probably married and so can’t set out for casual sex in a public way. 

“Honey, I’m going down to the Cockpit for dinner and gay sex.  Be back around 11:30.”

“Okay, dear.  Oh.  Don’t forget you condoms.  Love you.  Mwuh.”

Maybe some of them don’t consider themselves gay.  Hm.  But my point is, if the stigma for gayness weren’t so prevalent and virulent would these guys have been less likely to be looking for sex in askanky public bathroom, risking disease, violence, interruption, arrest, public restroom filth and man-cooties.  Maybe.

I wonder if these guys were once the young gay swingers back in the 50’s, 60’s, 70’s.  I mean, look at those guys!   Definitely not do-able.  Yet there they are for your viewing enjoyment.

And by the way, I do condemn public area sex.  Bad.  Bad horny people!  No!  No!  Get a friggin’ motel room if you’re gonna act out like that.

I’ve heard a lot of views of  marriage in the past few days. 

A conversation today
I had an interesting conversation today with a friend who said everyone’s been focusing on the wrong thing.  The government shouldn’t be involved with marriage at all, he said.   Civil government should pertain to civil unions and marriage should be in the churches.  The religious tradition of marriage should be in the appropriate institutions.

That kind of made sense to me.  Because, the way the conversation is being defined, saying gay marriage is legal — due to the blurring of institutions — means that a Catholic church will have to perform gay marriage ceremonies.  Or it implies that.  Kind of.  Does it?  Maybe not.  But private organizations do have the right to discriminate to a degree.  I couldn’t join the girl scouts, for instance.

LSAT Podcast
The guy on the LSAT podcast said that the ruling was not an example of “activist judges”.  It was an extension of the non-discimination law.  If you can’t discriminate based on sexual orientation then you can’t discriminate based on sexual orientation for civic marriages.  The court was doing its job to provide checks on constitutional law.

“Metalocalypse” re: Marriage

Gentlemen, the American wedding is a dark and fearful sham.  The event itself is designed to incite and drain loved ones of patience, support and money. Most marriages fail miserably in two years.  Others end in murder-suicide.  A small percentage of them end with a term we like to call ‘livable hatred’.

Marriage has always been a black and public sore on human living.

Since the early 1900’s marriage has been spun by the vendors and marketers.  The people that find it the most attractive are wedding planners, Crate & Barrel and the various religious organizations.

“Metalocalypse”, by the way, is a Cartoon Network show that runs as part of the Adult Swim lineup.  It’s kind of a nihilistic, heavy metal comedy.

Focus on the Family Discussion
Federal government should be limited and states should have their right to legislate, but that model breaks down when it comes to currency, campaign finance, marriage.  When you begin to redefine marriage, you devalue marriage.

I would ask them, what about capital punishment?  That’s a matter of Federalism.  But anyway, they say the country is going to fall apart if gay marriage is legalized.  [sarcasm]Just like in Europe.[/sarcasm]

They subscribe to the slippery slope theory.  Legalized polygamy is next, apparently.

Commentary – Melanie Scarborough: Gay marriage not physically possible

I don’t quite get her point.

But in fact, permitting individuals of the same sex to describe their relationships as marriage gives them a right not extended to heterosexuals, for whom “marriage” is very narrowly defined.

Although a man and a woman may legally wed, the law does not consider the marriage valid unless it is consummated. A minister may have declared the couple husband and wife, the state may have issued them a license; they may share a name, a house, a bank account, and wear each other’s rings.

They may have engaged in various intimacies only Bill Clinton would not describe as sex. But unless the relationship includes the one act defining marital union, the marriage can be annulled because it is deemed to have never existed.

So regarding marriage, why wouldn’t it be a reasonable solution simply to apply the same rules to all couples — to say that unless a relationship can be consummated by a specific act, it cannot qualify as marriage?

True, that would not allow for the preferences of all individuals; but it would shift the blame away from conservatives and Christians and place it where it belongs: on nature.

Huh?  I guess she’s saying that only vagina-penis sex legally counts as consummation.  Don’t think that’s in California’s marriage law but who knows.

Late.  Attention span … fading.  Horribly unhealthy meal … consumed too close … to bedtime.  Losing consciousness.  Dyspeptic sleep … commencing.

With my last gasps of consciousness, I say the following.  Conservative Christian organizations need to get off of their doughy, pasty asses and get out there to uplift people who need help.  Homelessness.  Inner cities.  Illegal immigrants.  Unchecked capitalism and greed.  Ecological abuse, responsible use of resources.  Divorce and unhealthy marriages within the churches.  The Family.

Gay marriage isn’t going to destroy anything.  I think it’s going to be as banal as hetero marriage in a bit.  Too often immature people in love with the idea of being in love.  Trying to complete themselves and fill an existential void with another person.  High on infatuation and passion and then disillusioned and overwhelmed by the realities of a life long commitment.

Love being more than a feel good emotion.  Love being a decision-choice, a discipline and work.  Our generation does not excel at these things.

Having said that, to all of my friends who are married and having kids (or not), rock on.  A strong culture and society is built on the foundation of strong families.  You are the backbone and I wish you marital bliss and success.  I have much respect and love for you.

I hope to join you some day.  With a big ol’ family.

Currently listening :
Season of Changes
By Brian Blade Fellowship
Release date: By 2008-05-06

10:04 AM – 4 Comments – 2 Kudos – Add CommentEditRemove

Sarah Lindsay

Gary, you might like this:

http://blog. myspace. com/index. cfm?fuseaction=blog. view&friendID=11415966&blogID=397414928&Mytoken=75A71FEC-D12F-403D-B9368D116274AB3A8599172

Posted by Sarah Lindsay on May 21, 2008 7:55 PM
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Gary Young

Hey Sarah.

Thanks for the comment and for that link. I “2 kudos” like that.

Posted by Gary Young on May 21, 2008 8:56 PM
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Janna Mordan

I learned about the whole men’s bathroom sex thing in college. The things they teach you at the university these days.
The adjective for those bathrooms is “cruisy”. As in “The fourth floor men’s bathroom at the UCSC library is pretty cruisy.

Just so you know.

Posted by Janna Mordan on May 22, 2008 6:54 AM
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Gary Young

4th floor at UCSC, eh? I hope the toilet paper there is more substantial than DeAnza’s.

They don’t call it Santa Cruise for nothin’. You See Santa Cruise. Seriously, I think of the entire town of Santa Cruz as “cruisy”. A friend once told me that everyone in SC is three condoms away from each other.

When I was at College Park there were articles in the school paper about it. Cruising on campus and especially at the rest stop on I-95 between Baltimore and DC. Supposedly.

They also say that Patterson Park in Baltimore is(was?) rife with male prostitutes. Never seen it or noticed it myself.

And female prostitutes were coming from all over the country to turn tricks on Dundalk Ave. To service truckers. Bizarre. But I think by the time that kind of thing makes the news, the cops are already on it. If they feel like it.

Yet another underworld culture.


Posted by Gary Young on May 22, 2008 7:22 AM

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