Look Good Naked Pt. 5

Click here to see all of my LGN (I want to Look Good Naked) posts.

It’s been a while so I have a lot of thoughts.

First, as I watch “Transporter 3” I’d like to personally thank Jason Statham for making balding, stubble and aging glamorous.  You go, homey!  I still think he looks like he smells bad, though.    Like garlic, cigarettes, hard liquor, armpit and cologne.  Manly.

Another fast food lesson

Ladies and gentlemen, I found yet another way to gain weight as efficiently as possible.  I was hanging with a friend last weekend and we were looking for lunch.  We were near a Chevy’s but I said, “No, the dish I like at Chevy’s is, like, 1400 calories so let’s go somewhere else.”

We ended up at Red Robin.  Gourmet burgers.  I ordered the Tower of Onion Rings thinking that was a relatively healthy appetizer.  It’s onions, right?  They were grrrreat, by the way.  Unfortunately, the tower of thirteen onion rings clocks in at 1,800 calories and over 3,000 mg of salt.  That doesn’t include the fatty, calorie laden sauces.  Doesn’t include the drinks.  Doesn’t include the entree — 900 calories.

So that one meal was probably over 3,000 calories.  I felt like crap afterward.  Learn from my mistakes, America.  We’re fighting an uphill battle here.  Everything we’re being told and influenced to eat is life draining.  All the “convenient”, shelved and fast foods.  Death on a platter.

How to get really fat

A friend and I were walking through DC one day and saw some depressingly obese black women.  Not an uncommon sight.  And he said with disgust in his voice, “How do you let yourself get like that?”

Unlike my family, he doesn’t have any really overweight folks in his family.  I do.  But it’s still a valid question.  It’s ridiculous.  One meal at a time.  One choice at a time.  And there’s really no excuse.  If your people, epidemiologically speaking, are more prone to gain weight and have diabetes and asthma and what not, then it’s YOUR responsibility to adjust accordingly.  If you have to work extra hard at it, tough tits.  Them’s the breaks.  Get to work.  Suck it up and get to %$#@! work.

The Man can’t and won’t do your living for you.  If you can only afford a regular grocery store and none of that fancy schmancy organic whole foods stuff, then take the advice that Oprah’s given you.  Stick to the outer aisles of the grocery store.


It’s the calorie logging that’s got me so hyper-sensitive about calories, sodium.  And I know it’s repetitive, but that’s because I keep having to learn the same thing over and over again.  Daily, even.

It helps ,though.  I’m making different choices.  That’s powerful mojo.  I still make bad choices, but I compensate.

We’ll see how it goes.  I’ll weigh in on Sunday and see if I’ve lost a few pounds.  I’d better over the next few months, because I refuse to take these jeans back for a larger size, damn it.

We can do this, people.  Who’s with me.  Let’s reclaim our health from all these corporate, industrial, frankenfood experiments that we’re being subjected to.

We’ve got a choice.  So let’s choose.

Go, Kashi!

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