I don’t understand women.

I think I have a good grasp on people and our behavior.  Not to imply that women aren’t people, but trying to suss out certain female aspects of … well, let me just get into it.

Example:  Why do women find men who sing in falsetto attractive?

Smokey Robinson.  Eric Benet.  Bilal.  Dwele.  Maxwell.  And so on.  Michael Jackson.  A lot of R&B crooners do that.  I had no idea who Robin Thicke was until recently.  I couldn’t stand what I heard, though.  Sorry, Robin.

As an aside and as a general rule, I don’t like hearing men sing about their d!cks.  Thank you.  In fact, I’ll pass on genital music altogether.  A little subtlety goes a long way.

Anywho, falsetto is kind of a, I don’t know.  On its surface, you don’t think of men with high pitched voices as masculine.  Right?  And yet singing in a high pitched voice seems to be a staple of love songs.  Oh, pardon me.  “Love” songs.  And women are like, “Ooo girrrrrl!  That’s not at all effeminate or sexually ambiguous!”

You’d think there would be a zillion Barry White clones out there flooding the music industry.  But nope.  I guess they’re destined to be DJs and commercial voiceover artists.

I don’t get why young Japanese women are enthralled by male-male homosexual erotica.   Why male teenage heartthrobs are typically very girly/pretty.  Long, girly hair is a plus.

The Twilight Series, what I’ve heard/read about it, is another one.  In this age of feminism and womanism, why is a story about a girl with embarrassingly low self esteem being stalked and groomed by a predator so popular and appealing to young women?

Moon retweets the Feministe blog entries.  I don’t like the vibe of that collective blog, I should say up front.  We, as human beings, want to feel attractive or mate-worthy.  Women go out of their way to package and present themselves in public.  Women’s fashion is designed to accentuate and/or reveal curves and cleavages.  Then I’ll read something where women are offended that men express attraction to a woman’s physical attractiveness.  Or men being attracted to an exotic quality is apparently offensive to some.

Attraction = objectifying.  Question mark.  I have a theory — I’ve got a lot of them — that we’re genetically attracted to traits that we find exotic because deep within us on a genetic level we have an urge to procreate as diversely as possible.  That’s why we find foreign accents intoxicating, for example.  Like, how dare a man be attracted to a woman for anything other than her brain.  Conversation.  Deep, personal journey.  While those things are important, they’re not what we notice about each other first.  Biology doesn’t work that way.  Not if you’ve got eyes and ears, anyway.  There are a lot of angry women on that blog.  I guess the outright anger and vitriol is in the comments, to be fair.  It’s like listening to WPFW in the mornings except that instead of being obsessed with being angry at white people they’re obsessed with being angry at men.

I won’t get into the whole bad boy thing because it’s passe at this point.  Passe to talk about it, I mean.

I can’t get pregnant, thank god, and therefore I can’t give birth.  It amazes me that a woman can go through that whole process and go through a painful life- and maybe body-altering process that includes nausea, mood swings, back pain, weight gain, stretch marks, loss of sleep, loss of partner and then a few months later think, “I want to do that again.”

That is some powerful mojo.

Let me back up a little bit.  Is it offensive for me to say that feminists are angry?  Or is that just part of what it means to be intellectually radical or militant?

Take a step back and observe our society and overall it’s a confusing situation.  For me, at least.  I’m not walking around befuddled and unable to interact in society.  I’m just saying, for the sake of this blog entry.

Are sexy women who show as much skin, butt and breasts as possible with low cut this and high cut that and pierced those and thong there modern and liberated?  Or are they victims of a male  libido driven fashion industry bent on sexualizing them?  Is the video vixen a feminist icon?  Playboy models?  The women in bikinis at boxing matches?  The women in disposable razor commercials who appear in the background as the male model washes the last of the cream off of his ridiculously square jawline?  Strippers/exotic dancers?  Hooters girls?

Or is it only bad when guys look and are attracted to them?  Are prostitutes considered liberated and powerful in their comfort with their sexuality?  Or are they slaves to male hegemony?

Is the fact that they’re making a living off of their T&A a good thing?  Or is it exploitation?

If female sexuality is a powerful force to be respected and celebrated — well, how does that work if male sexuality isn’t respected and celebrated as well?

Is chivalry insulting, outdated or a sign of respect?

And is it just me or is Nicki Minaj horrible.  Her music, I mean.  She’s unmistakably incredibly beautiful/sexy.  She’s unmistakably talented/creative.  In that order.  She’s been described as a black Barbie and a black Jessica Rabbit.  I tried listening to her new release and it was … uh uh.   And she’s got attitude for days.  But have you heard what she’s saying?  Plus what the ft. rappers are spouting.  It’s everything I don’t like about hip hop.  Or that genre of hip hop, anyway.  Small minded, materialistic, ego hubris self promotion.  Pass.

More power to her, though.  Truth of it is, women in our society — especially pop stars — have about a five year lifespan before they’re disposed of and become fodder for reality TV shows.  Sad but true.

Sex appeal is a prerequisite for female musical artists.  I guess you use any edge you’ve got.   Do a visual sample of album covers for male and female jazz musicians, for example.

If a woman decides she wants to stay at home raising her kids instead of working, is she a sellout?  What if she encourages other women to do so because she feels great satisfaction and sees benefits for her kids?  What if she tries to instigate a movement?


Why does it seem like women don’t like each other?  Sometimes, you see a woman scan another woman and a spontaneous micro-expression of disapproval and/or disgust crosses her face.  And I may say, “What what was that about?”  And she’ll say, “What?”  Like she has no idea what I could possibly be talking about.  Or I’ve known women whose lives are full of drama of some sort who say that they prefer to have male friends because women have too much drama.  Like, “Ugh.  Women.”


Touchy subject here, to say the least.  Why do people say that rape isn’t about sex, it’s about power?  It’s almost an aphorism now.   It’s obviously about both.  Domination through sexual violation.  If it were only about power then it would be a matter of, I don’t know, physical abuse and violation.  As opposed to sexual abuse and violation.   Sexual gratification is obviously involved, as twisted as it is.

Did you read about the staggering number of rapes in South Africa?  WTH!  Did you read back in the World Cup days earlier this year that a woman developed a female condom with teeth?


That’s not confusing at all even though it’s not the solution to a culture of rape.  A culture of rape in this day and age.

Fight the power.


Add Yours
  1. Moon

    My response is simple: all women are not the same. It sounds like you’re trying to find a consensus thought on what women as a whole think and believe. Trying to determine a pattern so that it’s easier to “understand” women as a whole instead of as individuals. Women who don’t think as a whole are usually demonized as being hateful towards men rather than realized as people asserting their self-determination. I think it becomes tricky and a bit hypocritical to expect non-judgement or call out those who may not appear to live in a black & white manner when your views and opinions are heavily mired in judgement and stereotype.

    BTW, All women don’t dress to gain male attention. A woman owning her sexuality, telling a man she does not welcome his ogling and the like should not be an affront to male sexuality. I recommend reading the works of bell hooks, audre lorde and Alice walker as a start to get clarity on womanism. To have an opinion on women as a whole without any discussion about our patriarchal society also places this discussion out of context. Those authors will offer context.

    • garyarthuryoung

      Let’s see if I can sum up your response.

      I’m being a judgmental hypocrite whose views are heavily mired in stereotyping out of ignorance. Go read and educate myself.


      I knew I could count on you to keep things interesting. Pointed yet civil.

      • Eric Brown

        Ha ha! Gotcha, Gary. You: No name Pittsburgh Pirates pitcher in 2004. Moon: Barry Bonds. And I’m not trying to make any comment about any juice that you may or may not be on Khadijah. Though it wouldn’t surprise me if you got caught with some flax seed oil…

  2. garyarthuryoung

    Ha. Eric, it’s more like

    Me: after work co-ed softball pitcher
    Moon: Barry Bonds circa 2004

    What?? It went into the Bay?!

  3. artsymoon

    LMAO @ both of you. Love you both. And, Eric, about the flax seed oil–how’d you know?? LOL

    (note: Gary, I know where you live though, so me and my fem squad will roll up on you if need be.) j/k…please don’t write a blog about amazon women mob squads. I’m trying to stay out the pen.

    • garyarthuryoung

      Fem Squad!!

      Don’t make me whip out some crystals. I’ll find some. And read about it on the internet. And then do … something.

      TODO: Blog re: Amazon Women Mob Squads.

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