LGN 121 SevenEighths30

Inside: I’ll eat it; Blackout Doors at Burke Lake

I suspect that anyone who has attempted Whole30 and didn’t bother to read the rules has done this. There are two “this”s on this photo and one straight up violation. Can you identify them?

  1. Turns out the ham has sugar in it.  Pay attention to ingredients and the brand, I guess.
  2. The sauce is coconut cream and dates.
  3. Sweet potato pancakes made from two eggs and two small sweet potatoes. Blend. Pour into pan. Cook like a pancake.

Fantastic. Add a little salt or maybe another seasoning, cook a little slower and it will be perfection. Perfection!

I could explain why my “this” should be on the list and why I’m going to eat them anyway but I’m going to eat them anyway so what’s the point.  Not the ham so much but the other things.

I can eat a sweet potato. I can eat eggs. I can eat a sweet potato with eggs on top or underneath. I could have a baked sweet potato on a plate and an egg on a plate and mash them together and eat them. But I’m not supposed to blend them together and flatten them out into a disc shape and then eat them? Come on, now. Why you playing games?

You could accurately say that I’m not really doing Whole30 then. From the way the literature is written it’s a 1 or a 0. Yes or no. There’s no remedial Whole30 and I ain’t starting over.

So I’m declaring a brand new clean eating system and program called SevenEighths30.

It’s basically Whole30 except I can eat what I want as long as the ingredients are on the list.

I don’t want to be a bad influence on anyone. Stick to it. You’re doing great. Don’t cheat yourself by cheating.

Because if you do you have to send me $19.95 for each instance of dietary infidelity which counts as use of my SevenEighths30 patent pending principles. Finally. I’m gonna be rich as fork.

Crank it Up

There is literally no one giving me a hard time about this. I’m just cranky.

Extra cranky since I had another failed attempt trying to camp at Burke Lake. Can’t check in if there’s no one to check in with. It’s first come, first serve but you still have to register.

Nearly enraged now because I’m trying to type this on an iPhone and my accuracy rate is about 10%. Sonofa–

How am I supposed to start my outdoors YouTube channel, Blackout Doors, if I can’t find some outdoors to test my hammock camping gear?

This will happen, Burke Lake. Even if I have to take it up with Ol’ Man Burke himself.

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