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LGN 129: Swimming For

I’m back, bishes. Bish noun Scientific appellation for a female dogfish shark. Portmanteau of the words fish and bitch. One of those is true. Ladies and gentlemen. Bishes of all ages. You know and I know that I don’t need anymore expensive hobbies. A few months ago someone asked if I was interested in scuba…

LGN 127: Swimming 3.5

Well, folks. I think I’ve done it. I beat swimming. It’s pretty much a wrap so everyone else might as well stop. Swimming is over. That includes you, water-based fauna. You might as well evolve, grow legs and come up here on land. Or go into space where, let’s be honest, half of you cluckers…

LGN 126: Swimming 3

I just finished Swimming II tonight. I may be a grown ass man but I’m still disappointed that there wasn’t a certificate. With the little cartoon fish on it. Also, the MyZone MZ-3 doesn’t work in the water, which is a bummer because I got worked tonight. On to swimming III. Narrowly.  Prerequisite: Swimming II…